My | Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off [updated]

It's a problem that has plagued beach lovers for decades, and one that can strike at any moment, often without warning. You're swimming along, enjoying the sun and the surf, when suddenly – whoosh! – your trunks are gone, sucked down the drain, or in this case, out to sea.

This article is my survival guide. We will explore the physics of how this happens, the psychology of the aftermath, and most importantly, the strategy for escaping without being arrested or becoming a viral meme. My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off

Let us analyze the four stages of grief specific to this event. It's a problem that has plagued beach lovers

Lycra and polyester blends (the cheap ones) are mesh-like on a microscopic level. Water jets through them easily, but the drag coefficient of a loose pair of board shorts is massive. The drain doesn’t suck the water —it sucks the volume of the shorts. Think of a parachute being dragged through a porthole. This article is my survival guide

And if the unthinkable does happen, just remember: it's not the end of the world. You'll survive, and you'll likely have a funny story to tell. As for your missing trunks? Well, that's just a small price to pay for the joy of swimming in the ocean.

Water is roughly 800 times denser than air. When you enter the water, the sudden resistance acts like a giant, liquid hand grabbing your shorts and trying to pull them downwards.

We have all had bad days at the pool. Maybe you forgot your sunscreen and turned the color of a lobster. Maybe you did a cannonball that splashed a sleeping grandmother. But then, there is a specific, rare, and utterly catastrophic tier of public swimming failure.